Amazing Add Initials

For an African Zoo blog, does this starting sound okay?

Astonishing. Absolutely amazing. That was my initial impression after seeing such beautiful creatures. I was in the most well known zoo in Africa – The African Zoo. My mum and I were waiting impatiently for my dad to buy some tickets. I was sooo excited that words cannot describe. It seemed to take a long time for my dad to get the tickers – when he finally arrived. I grabbed my ticket off him and ran to the Zoo gates; I couldn’t wait to get inside. So, eventually my mom and dad caught up with me. The queue was just too long. I was getting more and more impatient by the minute. After what seemed like ages, we were finally let in.

It's for my homework. I have to pretend i went to a Zoo in africa. I've set it out like this so far and i'm not too sure as to what else to add to it?
Help would be grateful. Thanks.

Try changing the name because it sounds repetive in the third sentence and since its AFRICA the zoo's name would most likly sound African. Maybe type in african names and name it after the african word for hope or something or look up some african zoos.
Instead of 'so my...' use When my parents eventually caught up with me.
Instead of 'I grabbed my...' use soemthing more like I toke my ticket from him or something else because that sentence sounds...off.
The rest seems good.

Remember to reasearch how the zoos actually work and how they treat their animals ^^ Im sure you already did though so gl

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