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Happiness Bpd
how come i get angry and jealous when i look at other peoples happiness and what they have in their lives?
ive suffered tremendously since 15, ive been through alot of trauma, i have bpd, ptsd and very bad depressions everyday.
im 29 now. ive never had a girlfriend or made any friends in life.
i had dreams, desires and ambitions i wanted to achieve to.
im ageing physically now, im full of rage and anger, im lonely alone and bitter,
and it strikes me as a major injustice,& is very unfair to me to see, people enjoying themselves and their lives. whether it be when i turn on the tv, every channel is filled with people having fun and getting their needs met.
when i look on the internet,at myspace, other sites, its people living their lives to the full.
i feel very angry, bitter and unremorsefull when i see this, because ive been through hell, ive never had my needs met,
and now i have to somehow repair the damage that has been done to me in my life..
im on a waiting list for therapy, but i seriously wonder how it can help when i feel this bad all the time & this angry towards people..
Therapy will help...But you can also give yourself permission to be pi ssed...yea it is unfair and why the he ll whouldnt u have a taste of that happiness ?? sometimes the guilt of feeling that way can just ad extra baggage....you do deserve it to.....get mad...get reall freakin mad....then try to use that energy to get what you deserve..trust me i have had the kinda a life a say "man if there is Karma, I must have been a SOB in my last life, because i am getting te sh it kicked outta me in this one" the only luck i have is bad luck..and the more i try to be good...do good...the worse ti gets..then i c ppl who are dam near evil...living a life of money,,,love,,, and fun...i get mad as hell.....so..i try to write....to box...to reinvest my anger...try to find somone who understands and lean on them....you say you have no friends in life...well I offer you my hand...you are welcome to takeit.....Remember too..everyone may look like they are in this great ride of life..but some of them are better at hiding things..and alot more ppl have the same pain..they just are not strong enough to own it..YOU ARE..so you have one up on all of them
I hope you are better then next moment
Peace.Respect.Blessings to you
Cat
(my messenger is fraaazzzled, my email is under my profile )
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Happiness - Living with Borderline Personality Disorder
help i want to emigrate and leave britain , but i feel trapped by my circumstances, what can i do?
im a 30 year old bpd sufferer, im waiting for therapy, live alone, never been employed because of my condition and my traumatic life..
i want to emigrate and build a new life, meet friends a fiance, find happiness and security..
but its like no one in britain supports me, or knows where im coming from.......the only friends i have are online from the u.s..
and they understand me fully and are compassionate.....
my family are imposing upon me and throw the blame at me for my past and my unhappiness.....ive cut myself off from them and distanced myself.....
i dont want them in my life anymore..
meanwhile i feel ostracized and outcasted from society, i feel theres people outthere who want to ruin my hopes and dreams....keep me in britain against my will......they always say '' you cant run away'' and arguing with me about my goals of emigrating...this is making me depressed, frustrated & angry..
i feel unsupported and alone in life...except for my online friends
what am i to do?
Well, how do you propose to do it exactly? Figure out how you will do it and start making a plan to do it !
