Tote Boy Incredibly clingy sixteen month old.. extreme mommas boy?
I feel bad for even writing this question. I do love my son very very very much.
His little clingyness is the sweetest thing in the world to me the majority of the time but there are those times when I would like to do something like pee alone.
I would love to pee alone. I would like to get in the shower for more than thirty seconds or be able to do my job (I work from home) successfully without him pulling on my shirt screaming "mama!!!!" after less than two minutes.
I would like my boobs back.
I have no family, no friends, no daycare in this logging town. Husband is in Iraq.
I just temporarily distracted him with his Tote n Go learning laptop I'm not sure how long this will last, what can I do to help and allow him become more independent?
Oh I didn't even think about the dog we had a dog but I ended up giving him back to his grandmother.. that's probably why the poor thing is so lonely, they were buddies.. even after a month ago I better give her a call
Being independent is not only good for your comfort and sanity, it is good for him. I'm not an expert, but a mother with a toddler of her own. Forcing him to by himself won't make him independent, it may backfire. I like what you did with the toy.
I'd also like to point out that having a husband at home makes it so much easier, so try not to be so hard on yourself. When the baby cries in his room, my husband will say something like "he's fine, leave him alone", so I don't envy you on this one.
Try the following incremental steps over the next couple of months:
1.) Independent play time in the room with you. Find toys that interest him. Electric toys are fine, but I'd also suggest board books, stacking rings, blocks, cars, and anything mechanical.
2.) Independent bedtime (if not already). Do a short routine: diaper, pjs, book and bed. I'd leave him in his bed for 10 minutes at time, no matter how much he cried for you. If you feel uncomfortable, leave him for 3 or 5 minutes and increase the time gradually. Warning: he may not fall asleep for hours the first few times you try this. Be strong. This is much easier with a partner to tell you, "he's fine." Maybe you can call somebody who agrees to help you with this.
3.) Independent nap time (if not already), similar to bedtime routine. Note that my son still gives me trouble with this one, but it is nice that he goes down with little fight most of the time.
4.) Leave a few toys in his room. Bring him in the room and play with him and his toys. If he plays with something by himself, move to the doorway.
5.) Try to leave his room for a few minutes.
6.) If he starts ignoring you, you can put up a baby gate and leave him until he demands out.
All of these things will take times, and there will be times he's great and times when he regresses to his clinginess. Be patient.
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About the Author
Shelby Strong is an at home mom of 3 kids. She enjoys running an online store called My Cute Dressups where she sells Cinderella Dresses, and other princess costumes like Sleeping Beauty dresses, Snow White costumes, princess accessories, boy costumes and more.
I better give her a call
